Anya's Diary: Anya tackles PMS
written by Anya

Anya is the quintessential girl next door - in search for real human experiences, emotional connections and yes, even love. This is her diary where she reaches out to you. You are no longer alone. Her diary is a place where experiences are shared and the reasons behind connections and disconnections are explored. When she shares her stories, you may feel just a little more understanding, a little more compassion and a whole lot of "Nooo waaay man, that didn't REALLY happen!" You know you know what she's talking about! ;)

"Poor Man Scared".

That's what a friend of mine said to me recently. Of course, that was right after I ripped into him for not understanding that my whole, entire life is a horrible, unsalvageable and inconsolable mess that no amount of money, love, chocolate, shoes, or happiness can fix.

"But you don't UNDERSTAND!" I pleaded.
"You JUST don't get it!!" Being a pretty smart guy, he stayed silent.

Poor Man Scared, commonly referred to as PMS (premenstrual syndrome) affects millions of women (about 40%) around the world. I should know. After kneeling in a dark corner of my condo - weeping puddles for 3 days - I put myself back together and did some research. Of the approximate 32 million people that live in Canada, about half (16 million) are women. According to the 2001 Census, there are about 713,000 East Indians living here. Of them, about 345,855 live in the Greater Toronto Area. If we apply my (very sophisticated) statistical analysis to that figure, we can assume that half are women. Boys, that leaves you with about 172,927 potential wives out there, give or take a few thousand for the very young, the very old, and the very unavailable. So, take about 40% of that figure and then ... watch your back! Of all the Indo-Canadian female mates you could meet while strutting your stuff down Richmond and Peter on any given Saturday night, about 69,000 of us are crazy.

Geez, Poor Man Scared is right.

Except, that it's wrong.

PMS is a real syndrome. According to the College of Family Physicians of Canada, it is the name that is given to "a group of physical, emotional and psychological symptoms that occur in the last two weeks of the menstrual cycle." Emotionally - sure, us women get a little depressed, angry, irritable, out of control, etc., but that's only because physically our hormones are taking a bumpy ride through the Rocky Mountains in less time than it takes to fry an egg. Did I say egg? Our ovaries are working double time to LAY an egg; our cells are retaining water making us feel fat and un-sexy in our suddenly tighter than normal clothes, yet we're hungry; and, for many of us, waking up feels like our mid-section served as a punching bag the night before, never mind the headaches. Remember fella's, we wake up like this MONTHLY, for many, many years. You don't. Unless perchance, you happen to have run into one of us the night before.

Psychologically, during PMS, many of us feel forgetful and may be aware that we may not be making the best of sense; but it certainly doesn't help any of us to hear from you that we are crazy, psycho or, worse still - moody. Indeed, we may cry because the TV is too loud and when you don't turn it down, it's a sure sign that your love is waning and perhaps you are cheating. Sure, we may feel euphoric because Nine West is having a 50% off sale, only to slouch into a deep and very dark depression to find out at the cash register that it is actually an "UP TO 50%" sale, and that the shoes picked out were only 2% off. And yes, all of this can all happen in the same 60 seconds. So what? It's possible. Men, what we do need at these particularly vulnerable times, in a shoe store, in a dark corner, or elsewhere, is a constant reassurance that all is okay, and that you really do love us just for being us. Frankly, sometimes all we really need is just need a hug. No words, no solutions, no advice. Just a hug.

To help combat PMS, us girls need to nurture our minds, bodies and souls. We have to listen to ourselves and we have to help educate the men in our lives that mood swings, crying outbursts, and irritability factors are all normal. We have to take care of our bodies by exercising, eating the right foods, and by resting well before reaching the collapsing point. And we most certainly, have to honor our souls by celebrating the fact that we are women. Dynamic, awesome, smart and sexy, lovely women.

So for all you Poor Men Scared, here's a tip:

With a little understanding and by honoring the women in your lives, you could all go from being Pretty Major S*#!heads to Perfectly Magnificent Sweethearts just by saying, "Come here darling... even though you may not love yourself right now... I love you... eggs, no shoes, and all. Bring it on."