Anya's Diary: Anya looks for love in the stars
written by Anya

Anya is the quintessential girl next door - in search for real human experiences, emotional connections and yes, even love. This is her diary where she reaches out to you. You are no longer alone. Her diary is a place where experiences are shared and the reasons behind connections and disconnections are explored. When she shares her stories, you may feel just a little more understanding, a little more compassion and a whole lot of "Nooo waaay man, that didn't REALLY happen!" You know you know what she's talking about! ;)

Ever find yourself browsing through the astrology websites looking for a sign that somehow life will just get moving? And then after you’ve read your own horoscopes for last week, this week, next week, and this month’s LOVEscope, the previous month and next month, you start the whole process over again, reading all of the same for that cute Aries guy that you have a crush on? And then after that, you start reading all of the same for the sign of the cute Aries guy’s girlfriend, hoping for an planetary climate in which she will suffer some kind of trauma, and that post-trauma, she just won’t be the same anymore, and they will finally break up, and thanks to the astral configurations being perfectly aligned during the night, that the next morning, the cute Aries guy will suddenly awaken to the epiphany that really it is you that he is destined for?

And then, before you realize it, it’s 3:27 in the morning, and you have to get up and go to work for 8:00am the next day?

That ever happen to you?

Yeah... me neither.

Well, in truth, I am SUCH a sucker for astrological forecasts. Consistently discerning, a proud logical thinker, I usually try to stay clear of irrational thoughts. Yet, I continue to do it. I can’t stop. I’ve even noticed that when I’m doing it, my body language changes. My head lowers as if in shame, I slink down into my chair, I skim the words quickly - it’s like watching a car accident - I don’t want to look, but I have to. It’s as though I don’t want to get caught in the act. The kicker is that there’s no one around to catch me! After coming back to consciousness, I usually feel dirty. The same kind of dirty that comes after watching a Jerry Springer episode. Shamefully, in full awareness, I have to ask myself... what is going on in my head? I think I’m just looking for a sign of hope.

Usually the Horoscope-Read-A-Thon happens after having becoming tired of browsing through mismatched matrimonial profiles. It can get somewhat exasperating to read profile after profile of fantastic guys who are just looking for a down-to-earth angel on the outside, sex kitten on the inside. Many profiles seem to want a woman who is laid back, educated, cultural, attractive, sexy, and who can talk about the meaning of life. Well, what’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. Nothing is the matter with that, which is exactly the point. I believe that women want the same thing. Women too, want a guy who will be her best friend, who can have stimulating conversation, who is attractive and sexy to her, and who can laugh at the good times.

If all of us matrimonial profile browsers, subscribers, contributors are looking for essentially the same thing, and the Indian matrimonial websites have pages upon pages of profiles all asking and giving the same qualities, where is the disconnect? It either comes down to chemistry, or to the sun and moon signs. Enter, lovely astrology. Only the stars know if it is better to be alone or to be with the Gemini who lives in Guelph. Only the stars can tell me if my water sign will mix well with an air sign or not. It’s most probable that the Gemini and I will fight, that he will cry and that it will not work out. It’s better to know this from the start and to not waste precious time, no?

There must be more to this. If we believed all the online profiles, then we’d know that suddenly everyone is super attractive because everyone works out and likes to go hiking on lazy, hazy Sundays. Everyone seems to be down to earth, chilled out, respectable, and full of virtues. Most certainly, everyone is easy-going, pretty normal and a good mix of East and West. And very definitely, everybody seems to be an amateur, if not pro-, surfer, skier, kayaker, and boater; all of whom have fathers who are retired Generals in the Indian Army.

So, last night after browsing through the online matrimonial sites and realizing that this guy is looking for a SEXY lady, and that guy lives too far away, and this other guy has been here “from” 4 years, I decided to stop looking for my diamond in the rough and took a 10 minute break by focussing on me. Zen thoughts, yoga and meditation all help me to do that. As does astrology.

As humans, we are hedonists. If we could, we would all bathe ourselves in serotonin, wouldn’t we? Well, what astrology provides is a little magic serotonin pill. Bring it on, I say! I can always rely on my horoscope to tell me that I am on the right path, and that my mood swings are not because of me or my cycle, but rather, because Mercury has simply gone retrograde. It tells me that although this may not be my perfect day (don’t I know it?), that the planetary aspects of Jupiter or the Moon are cutting through favourable angles which will lead to a much better tomorrow. In fact, if I was a believer, I’d know that this was MY year...the year when I will thrive. I won’t have any car troubles, I won’t lose my job, and I will find true love.

So far this year, I’ve had to replace my brakes and have had 6 parking tickets. I’m changing jobs in two weeks, and I just found out that cute Aries guy got engaged last weekend.