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 Summer
is here and so are tank tops, camis, skirts, bathing
suites, and those adorable capris from the Gap. Summer,
as everyone knows, is skin time. It’s time for
summer romances and the come-on-over clothing that sparks
them. Summer has a reputation for being hot –
and I’m not referring to the temperature. But
sometimes, for women, the sexy notions associated with
the season and the clothes we wear during it can make
deciding what to wear extremely complex.
You know what I’m talking about. The honking and
hooting as a car full of guys drives by as you walk
down the street. The obvious stares and “yeah,
I’m checking you out” stares from the men
at outdoor coffee shop tables. The dopey grin as one
guy nudges another as you walk through a restaurant’s
outdoor patio to your table. The assumption that, since
you happen to be wearing a skirt and a tank top that
look great on you, you must want this
kind of attention.
The idea that women’s clothing is a lure for male
attention is not strictly a summer time notion. It threads
throughout the entire year and is ingrained in many
cultures - summer is only when it is most obvious.
My best friend and I recently entered into a heated
discussion with two male friends who were of the opinion
that big-breasted women wear V-neck shirts and women
in general wear tight jeans because they are looking
for male attention. We argued that all women know that
low-cut shirts make breasts appear smaller, while high-cut
shirts make them look bigger. So, women with big breasts
often buy shirts with low-cut necklines to minimize
their attributes, rather than draw attention to them.
Women buy jeans that flatter their figure because, well,
who wants to look like they can’t afford or don’t
know how to buy clothes that fit? Good fit equals shopping
finesse, not to mention confidence in your body.
I added that I dress for other women. It takes a lot
more than a pair of tight jeans and a revealing top
to receive a compliment on your outfit from a woman.
Rachael Steel, Associate Manager at Aritzia on Vancouver’s
Robson Street, agrees. “It’s the women who
are going to look at the stitching on the butt of the
jeans and know that you’re wearing an expensive
pair,” she says. My best friend added that she
dresses to feel sexy, as she defines it, not as it is
defined by men. Fam Onukwu, Assistant Manager at Mexx
on Robson Street, concurred that the majority of female
customers in his store dress “to present a positive
image of themselves.”
The guys made the (I have to admit, rather insightful)
point that definitions of ‘sexy’ are inescapably
influenced by men as much as by women, perhaps even
more so, as we live in a culture that privileges men’s
opinions. Therefore, they concluded, you can’t
argue you are dressing to feel sexy as you define it,
since it’s impossible to avoid including male
influences. No matter what women wear, they will do
so either directly or indirectly to please the male
eye.
It’s this conclusion that makes deciding what
to wear in the summer a lot more work than it should
be. So you’ve got great arms and shoulders that
look best in spaghetti strap camisoles. Or you’ve
got fabulous legs that are flattered by short shorts
or a skirt that ends high above the knee. Or you’ve
finally achieved those ever-elusive defined abs and
want to show off the results of your hard work in a
t-shirt that ends just above your belly button. Maybe
you just want to go for a jog in a tank top and tights
that won’t get in the way. Chances are you’ll
think more than twice before heading out of the house
in any of these items. The resulting attention from
the men around you may not be worth it.
If it’s practically inevitable that when you dress
in a way that makes you feel good, the clothes you choose
will please the male eye, how do you find clothes that
are truly right for you, rather than right for attracting
men? Some advice I’ve gathered includes prioritizing
purchases that suite your body over those that are the
latest trend, and picking a style you like and sticking
with it; the clothes you buy as part of that style will
be a reflection of you, rather than your desire for
attention.
The challenge isn’t finding clothes that appeal
to you or suit you, it’s finding the strength
to wear them – no matter what the response is.
Look at the women around you. Find one whose style impresses
you. What is it about her? Is it her classic coordination?
Her flamboyant accessories? Chances are it’s the
confidence she wears underneath her clothes. It’s
the devil-may-care attitude that enables her to pull
off something that will likely draw lots of attention.
And, luckily for women, confidence isn’t innate,
it’s cultivated. The woman who has admirable style
has simply decided to attempt to channel confidence
via the clothes she wears, and anyone can do that. |
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