Wedding Traditions - Shagan

Dear Laky

I am getting married next year and want to ask guests to observe the Sikh tradition of shagan, however some of the guests are not Indian and not familiar with this concept. Do you have any info on how to put this across to western guests without them taking offense?

It's very nice of you to want your non-Indian guests to follow the tradition of Shagan. I can understand your concerns about offending them, but if you deal with this delicately everything should work out just fine. I'm not clear on how close these guests are to you but there are several different ways you can approach the situation.

If time permits, you could invite them over for tea and show them a video of an Indian wedding, this will also give you the opportunity to explain things as they happen and it will allow them to familiarize themselves with what will happen that day. The other option, and I have seen this done, is you could write the meaning of Shagan on some very nice stationary and either mail it with their wedding cards or you could give it to them at the gurdwara.

It's important to leave the final decision on whether they choose to follow the tradition up to them, try not to make them feel that its something that they have to observe. While this is a tradition that you wish for them to follow it's imperative that you do not make them feel uncomfortable if they choose not to follow it. How you explain it to them will have a definite impact on what happens. Place the tradition in the larger concept of the Indian marriage ceremony and explain its relevance. Your execution is vital here.

Good luck and congratulations. I wish you all the best on your wedding day and the rest of your life.

Laky