Does she want me?

Laky,

I am 20 years old and completely in love!!! I was going out with a girl for 3 years but just before summer started she decided she didnt want to be with me anymore. I just finished my first year in University, and she's starting her first. I recently went to visit her in Ottawa (I live in Toronto), we hung out and really got it on. She told me it was a mistake and that we shouldn't have, but then this happened again a few weeks later when I visited her again. For the rest of the summer she was rude to me, and finally after a couple of months of taking her crap, I told her that she must decide by the end of the summer if she wants to be my girlfriend or not, and if it's no, I don't want to talk to her anymore. She said she would decide. We still talked everyday and things went on like this, but then she started acting like she didn't care about me. I visited her again this past weekend, we hung out and had lots of sex. Then later she said the only reason that her and I had sex was that we both have physical needs, but that we still weren't going out.

What does this all mean? Why would she just have sex with me if she didnt want to be with me? How do I know how she really feels? What do I do?

In Need and In Love....

Dear in Need and in Love

It sounds like this girl really has you all tied up in knots. I'm wondering....what changed before the summer. Why did she decide that she didn't want to go out with you anymore. Can you think of anything that might have triggered this decision. It doesn't sound like she gave you any concrete answers. How does a person just wake up one day and say I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore.

One thought that does come to mind is that she's starting her first year in university, maybe she wants to keep her options open and meet new people.

Where you have trouble in your relationship? Where you asking for too much? Did she feel that she's not able to follow her dreams if you continue to date? Was she worried about the distance? Where there family pressures? There are many things that she could have been thinking about, you need to try and get some answers.

You need to sit down and do some soul searching of your own. I know that three years is along time to be with someone. Is her behavior typical, has she ever been rude to you like this before?

Don't start to read into everything, you need to sit down and ask her what's going on. Maybe you should spend some time apart, by that I mean no visits, no sex and no phone/e-mail. Give yourselves some time to think everything out, ask yourself whether this is what you really want. Don't wait for her to make up her mind, you need to be more proactive here. She either loves you and wants to be with you or she doesn't, it doesn't take all summer to figure that out.

I hope that everything works out the way you want it to.

Laky